


The High Dive

by iceprinceloki



Series: Forays Into Indecency or Daniel is a Poor Choice of Friend [20]
Category: Vampire Chronicles - Anne Rice
Genre: Anxiety, Dry Humping, Frottage, Gay Sex, Honesty, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Recovery, Relationship(s), Sex Education, Therapy, open communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:15:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23106811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceprinceloki/pseuds/iceprinceloki
Summary: Armand approaches his lovers with the plan to overcome his trauma, but will Daniel get on board or will it fall to Louis to meet his lovers half way?
Relationships: Armand/Daniel Molloy, Armand/Daniel Molloy/Louis de Pointe du Lac, Armand/Louis de Pointe du Lac, Daniel Molloy/Louis de Pointe du Lac
Series: Forays Into Indecency or Daniel is a Poor Choice of Friend [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553704
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	The High Dive

**Author's Note:**

> I am buggered. With the new job I have gotten the flu, I have been hacking my lungs out for a week straight. And then I decide to further abuse myself when I went to the doctor and decided I may as well sort out my IUD. Don't let anyone tell you if it hurts or not. I was told it doesn't but I spoke blasphemous words today when I realized I'd been lied to; short story is everyone is different. Which oddly is the theme of this chapter.
> 
> I know the series started out light, but as I said when I started it I want to cover real life issues and feelings and experiences. I don't want this theatrical romance crap I used to write. I want real, and I want to raise awareness through my work. I want to educate people through my work. I know when I was eleven and read all those "Lemon" fanfictions it was a really bad influence and to this day it effects my life; I'm trying to educate people.
> 
> You have the right to say no, any time, consent is not something you can't take back, talking is vital, sex is awkward and embarrassing stuff happens during sex, sometimes things don't work for you, sometimes things you wouldn't try turn out to be very good for you. Most importantly you should have implicit trust and love with your partner, never go into something half assed. Enough of me being a mom to my readers! Enjoy the story!

Armand had been distant in the three weeks since Marius’ attack, and we couldn’t blame him for a second. He had been a closed off and silent shell of himself. Most distressing was that he avoided our room like the plague. So Daniel and I were very surprised when he approached us one night on the balcony of our bedroom.

‘Hey you….’ Daniel said slowly, unsure why Armand was there. ‘You okay? You need something?’

Armand was staring Daniel in the eye and said nothing for several moments. Daniel and I shifted awkwardly in our seats and tried to think of what to do. Armand took three purposeful steps towards Daniel and sat down on his lap. He looked like he was ready for war, I recognized his expression; he was expecting a fight.

Daniel smiled hopefully and held Armand lightly around the waist. ‘Are you feeling better tonight?’

I cringed at Daniels lack of tact, but Armand just smiled and leaned in to kiss Daniel. For the first time in three weeks Armand was in our bedroom. For the first time in three weeks he had willingly sought out physical contact. For the first time in three weeks he had initiated an affectionate gesture.

Daniel was as stunned as I was and Armand laughed at our expressions. ‘Don’t look so shell shocked, I do kiss you both.’

I looked at Armand and felt a wry smile split my face. ‘Indeed you do, we’ve missed it….’

Armand stood and approached me. He sat on my lap as he had done with Daniel. ‘I have missed kissing you both…’ Armand kissed me, not the chaste kiss he gave Daniel, a deeper and more passionate kiss.

I frowned and pushed him away gently, only for him to push back and steal another passionate kiss.

‘Armand what are you doing?’ I was bewildered, this was out of nowhere and I could see Daniel was watching suspiciously.

It had been three weeks since Marius had raped our lover, three weeks in which we hadn’t done more than the occasional hug. For Armand to suddenly approach us and kiss us was more than suspect. Armand scowled at me as I refused to let him continue his kisses.

‘Don’t you want to kiss me?’ He said bitterly, he turned his face away in shame and tried to stand up to leave.

I stopped him with an arm around his hips. ‘It’s not anything to do with what you are thinking.’ I told him firmly, setting aside his feeling of self-hatred. ‘It’s just very sudden that you are kissing us and being so affectionate. It’s been three weeks….’

‘I know how long it’s been thank you.’ Armand’s voice was icy and I sighed in disdain.

‘I just want to know why, before we continue any more kissing.’

Armand scowled and crossed his arms defensively. ‘Why does there need to be a reason? Even if there was one why would it need to be discussed? The point is I want to kiss you, I want to continue with our life as it was.’

‘But why boss?’ Daniel piped up. ‘You can’t expect everything to go back to normal just like that, a lot has happened and you need to get through a lot of stuff before you can try going back to what we were doing…’

‘I don’t need to explain myself.’ Armand sighed. ‘Please just trust that I know what I want and what I need….please don’t question me, just let this happen.’

Daniel and I were both unsettled by how flat he was, how hollow his words seemed. His whole stance screamed uncertainty and nervousness. I knew Daniel wouldn’t allow Armand whatever it was he was after, I knew also that Armand wouldn’t want to drop it now that it was brought up. Armand was the kind of person who needs to finish a thought or experience once it has started, lest he not have the courage or will to continue it later.

‘Please just tell us one thing….’ I said gently. ‘Just one thing and then we will see about indulging whatever your plan is.’

Armand gave me a suspicious and ungrateful look but nodded just the same. I rubbed his hip lightly as I thought of how best to phrase what I wanted to ask. I wanted to know what was driving him to suddenly reengage in the more personal part of our relationship, what was he trying to prove or set aside; what did he mean to accomplish.

‘What is it that you expect to accomplish through this?’

Armand and Daniel both looked surprised at the question. Armand looked sad for a moment before his mask of indifference slid into place.

‘I expect to achieve normality in our lives so we can continue progressing.’

A simple explanation; not a lie but not the whole truth either, it was a typical Armand power move.

Armand stood to turn and straddled me after a split second of hesitation and anxiety marring his face. He took unsteady breaths surreptitiously as he inched closer to me until we were pressed close and he wound his fingers in my hair. I held him by the hips gently and stroked my fingertips up and down his back lightly. He was looking down at my shirt, his fingers slid to fiddle with the hem of the neck while he slowly relaxed on top of me.

I tried to catch his eye but he steadfastly avoided me, finally getting annoyed at my attempts and laying his head on my shoulder with his hands resting on my elbows. I could now see Daniel and he was distressed by what he was seeing, and at a total loss for words. I told him telepathically to calm down and not over react, this was something Armand wanted to do.

I understood rape, in the vampire sense at least, I could remember when I first began my relationship with Armand a century prior. It took me a very long time to build up to allowing the ultimate pleasure of blood sharing. I knew Armand would probably follow a similar path. I knew it was important that we let him do what he feels he needs to do; within reason.

‘I want to go to bed with you both….’ Armand’s voice startled me out of my reverie and I exchanged a weary look with Daniel. Armand looked at Daniel shyly over his shoulder. ‘Please take me to bed.’

Daniel stood up quietly and took Armand by the hand, tugging him to a stand and leading him into our room. I remained where I was until Armand looked at me worriedly. I joined them on the soft bedspread, Daniel and I cuddled Armand between us. He had his back to me and his head on Daniels chest. We slowly began to relax and settle in, relieved to finally be all together in our bed.

It was peaceful until I heard the soft sound of a kiss being pressed to flesh. Armand was kissing Daniels chest, moving up to his neck gradually; Daniel lay dead still, totally frozen and confused. Armand took Daniels silence as encouragement and he sat up to straddle his fledgling and kiss him soundly and deeply.

Daniel finally got his bearings and pushed his maker back slightly. ‘Boss?’

Armand gave an impatient whine. ‘What? I’ve had enough of talking let’s just do this….’

He tried to unbutton Daniels shirt and started rocking their hips together. Tonight was one of the few nights Daniel and I had been intimate while Armand was out hunting with the rest; so the hormone was already working in our blood. When Armand had gotten a hold of an injection was a mystery.

‘Boss…boss wait…Armand!’ Daniel finally snapped, getting his makers attention just as his belt was undone.

Armand snarled back. ‘What now?! Don’t you want this?’

Daniel started berating his maker for not taking the time to talk. He hadn’t heard what I had, he hadn’t heard that Armand wanted to be wanted. His real question was don’t you want me? I sat up beside them and pulled Armand off of Daniel, allowing the fledgling to sit up, and I silenced Daniel with a look.

We sat in a triangle, cross legged with our knees touching. Armand looked agitated and his legs jittered ever so slightly with pent up energy. Daniel was a muddle of feelings, the most prominent being suspicion.

‘Where did you get an injection from?’  
‘The same place as you I imagine.’  
‘Don’t be sarcastic. What do you think you’re doing coming in here high on hormones expecting us to just have sex like nothing ever happened?’

Master and fledgling had a staring competition that bordered on childish. Armand broke first.

‘I just want to do this. It will help me to do this.’

Daniel looked even more annoyed. ‘Says who?!’

‘Says me!’ Armand bit back.

‘I don’t really think you’re in a position to make a choice like that.’

Armand looked as though Daniel had just slapped him across the face. A flash of guilt appeared in Daniels eyes, his lips tightened ever so slightly at the corners. I needed to intervene as I often did these days.

‘What Daniel means is that we would feel better if we understood what it is you mean to do, and why you think it will help….’ I spoke quietly so as not to startle Armand.

‘I’m an adult, can’t you just take my word for it? Please?’ He implored us desperately. ‘I know it’s sudden but I need to do this and- and I want to. I am ready.’

‘You’re ready?’ Daniel deadpanned. ‘Ready for what? To pretend you didn’t get raped three weeks ago?’

‘Daniel-!’ I said quickly, trying to intervene.

I didn’t need to intervene as it turned out; Armand was quick to lash out. ‘I just want to do it and get it over with. I just want to prove to myself that Marius and his cruelty will not prevent me from living my life. You don’t understand!’

He was pleading with Daniel, squeezing his child’s hands tightly enough to turn their knuckles white. I felt my heart ache with sympathy, with memory, with a sound understanding of how he felt.

‘If I just do it and get it over with now while I’m still brave enough then it’ll be okay. Everything will be okay if I force myself through the fear and reluctance and memories. If I don’t do it now I’ll never do it.’ Armand had never been so earnest and he certainly never begged. ‘I don’t want to be this empty thing anymore….I can’t be inside my head anymore. I’m going to lose you both, I’ll never be able to reconnect with you in this way again if I don’t do it now before things get worse inside my head. Daniel just take me and finish it, just take me and it’ll all be okay.’

Daniel and I looked at each other silent and afraid. Daniel had tears in his eyes which fell as Armand started to cry.

‘I want to be okay again…I don’t want to be broken anymore…’

We wound up in a huddle, holding each other and all a mess. Armand’s words held emotion we hadn’t been ready to deal with, we hadn’t seen this coming. Daniel and I had spoken many times bout what would happen moving forward, how we wouldn’t ever pressure him and we would let him come to us even if it took a century. We hadn’t expected him to approach us three weeks in and demand to be, effectively, raped again.

When we had all calmed down sufficiently I took Armand’s face and forced him to look at me. ‘We are not going to take you when you aren’t willing. No Armand. You are not willing, you’re afraid and acting out because of it.’ I said firmly, interrupting his attempts at denial. ‘It would be rape. It won’t fix anything to force yourself to experience it again….when you and Daniel get to that…that point, it needs to be special. It needs to be something you look back on fondly, not fearfully or with regret.’

‘I won’t be able to do it….I need to dive into the deep end Louis…I’m not like you, I don’t need time; I need to just push through and come out stronger.’ Armand looked serious, I could tell he was confident in what he was saying.

Rape is different for everyone, not two people feel the same way, experience the same cycle of grief, and overcome the trauma in the same way. My way of coping was to slowly reintroduce myself to the process of blood sharing, to build trust in my partner before allowing that intimacy. Armand’s way was to try and create a new memory, a better memory.

‘Daniel….’ I said gently without breaking eye contact with Armand. ‘We agreed we would do what he needs….it’s not up to us to decide what that is….’

‘But Louis he-!’

‘No Daniel…’ I cut the boy off kindly. ‘Trust me on this…’

Daniel shook his head and stood up to pace back and forth beside our bed. ‘I can’t do it. I can’t it’s rape.’

‘It isn’t…’ Armand said in a small voice. ‘You know I’ve always wanted it to be you…you know that I trust you will all I have….I know you will make this better, I know you won’t hurt me or make me feel how-how he did…’

Armand caught Daniel and sat him down. ‘Please give me this…..I will stop you if I need to…I swear it.’

Daniel said nothing and Armand bit his lip anxiously, he looked to me for help and I put an arm around Daniel.

‘Daniel if we do this right, as he says, it will be alright…’ I tried to make my voice as soothing as possible. I could feel the tension in Daniels body, the small trembles that passed through him. 

Daniel didn’t respond to my words and I resorted to telepathic communication. ‘We need to trust him Daniel, I know it seems counterintuitive but it’s how he has learned to deal with trauma. This is how he has dealt with trauma his whole life. You’re refusal is making him think you simply don’t want him anymore….’ I told the boy without words.

Daniel rounded on Armand with a furious expression that made the boy vampire shrink away. ‘This isn’t about not wanting you. This is about me wanting to not hurt you. This is about me not wanting you to cope with trauma the way you always have because it didn’t do you any good then and it won’t do you any good now!’

The tension was palpable as Armand absorbed Daniels words and Daniel waited for his maker to realize the mistake they would be making.

‘I still want to do it Daniel….’ Armand didn’t want to anger his fledgling again but he had decided on what he needed and he was set on getting it. ‘I love you, I know that this is what I need…you can’t decide my actions for me…’

‘Fine…’ Daniel said after a length pause of several minutes. ‘Just not tonight, not now. I want to talk to you properly, outside of the bedroom, before we do this. Let me think for a night or two first…’

Armand protested meekly. ‘What if I can’t do this in a night or two?!’

‘Then we will know that it was a good thing we waited.’ Daniels words were sharp and made me cringe.

I pushed his shoulder firmly. ‘Daniel go hunt, you haven’t fed yet…’

Daniel didn’t argue, he was gone at vampiric speed leaving me with Armand. Armand looked so despondent and it broke my heart. I lay down and held my arms open for my lover to snuggle. Armand took my invitation gladly and we lay nose to nose companionably.

‘You trust me, don’t you Louis?’

I nodded and kissed his nose. ‘I do…Daniel doesn’t understand what it’s like, you can’t judge him too harshly or take what he says to heart. He’s afraid for you, he doesn’t want to see you hurt, more to the point he doesn’t want to become the new Marius in your life. He doesn’t want you to fear him.’

Armand nodded. ‘I know how he feels, but it’s my choice…I don’t need to be coddled, it hate it…I hate that everyone is treating me like I’m going to break Louis….’

‘I can’t say I know the feeling…’ I replied slowly. ‘Lestat was the only one who knew what was happening and he really didn’t think much of it. When I got to you and confided my past to you, I wasn’t treated any differently. You did everything at my pace, as I decided I was ready for something we did it. I want to give you the same, but at the same time we can’t expect Daniel do to something he doesn’t want to do...’

He looked so tired at that moment and he kissed me sweetly. His hands started to work my shirt buttons loose. ‘Louis please treat me as I am, not as a piece of glass…’

I agreeably kissed him back and rolled over so that he was on top of me. With my shirt unbuttoned he stroked his fingers over my exposed flesh and I untucked his shirt from his trousers to give him the same treatment. We didn’t end our kissing as we felt each other, he was eager and curious; I let him lead the encounter. Armand was relaxed and calm, I saw no hint of nerves in his face when we separated and he sat up to lace our fingers against the pillows on either side of my head.

He smiled, and swallowed back his feelings. ‘Thank you for trusting me Louis…’

He didn’t wait for a reply, he rocked into me, effectively stopping me from speaking coherently as I relished the feeling of trust that passed between us. I sighed in pleasure and murmured encouragement as he took his pleasure from me. Armand kept eye contact with me as he moved, he stopped only briefly to take some steadying breathes, his nerves getting the better of him.

‘It’s alright, do you want to stop?’ I asked softly.

He shook his head and took a deep gasping breathe. ‘No it’s fine, I just need a second.’

‘What are you thinking about?’

‘Why me?’ He laughed bitterly.

I smiled dryly. ‘God knows…’

He hummed in agreement and kissed my cheek, beginning to rock once again. I hesitantly pressed up towards him, he looked at me with a hint of nerves in his eyes but as I continued to thrust up to meet his downward thrusts he relaxed again and we fell into a smooth rhythm until we met our ends.

Armand lay on top of me unmoving for a while and we caught our breath slowly.

‘Thank you for believing in me and trusting my own judgement….’

I kissed my lovers soft red hair in reply. ‘You don’t need to thank me….’


End file.
